Money Matters
Many individuals are facing major financial hardships during this time of Covid-19 and it has put an added strain on their relationships.
But the honest truth is, money challenges do not "cause" divorce or "ruin" relationships.
The real problem is the couple's ability to communicate about money!
That's right, you will read it over and over again in my posts.... communication is the key!
There are two different ways you could have interpreted the title of this blog. The first way would likely be the statement that money does matter in life or in relationships. The second way you could read the title "money matters" is the matter, challenge, or issue around the topic of money!
Ahhh... did I get you there? Which way did you read the title?
You see, this is exactly what I mean! Communication is key!!!
The truth is, I meant it both ways. I am a believer that money is a symbol for our freedom. It is the currency we use to exchange goods and services in this era. In the past, we used gold and other rare commodities as currency. And currency is simply the flow of energy. So in fact, money is energy!
And the reason why money matters in this lifetime, is the fact that it allows us to be, do, have, and give what we want. It also allows us to express our love and affection to those we care about in other ways than words and physical touch. It allows us full expression in this life!
When couples do not have similar views or values about money, this is where they run into trouble. This is when it turns into a money matter (aka problem)!
So here are some tips and tools to help you better communicate in your relationship around the topic of money:
1) What is your belief about money?
Do you have a similar belief as me, that money is a symbol for our freedom? or do you have a different value? This will indicate whether or not you prioritize making or saving money in your lifetime.
2) What is your value about money?
Do you value paying things in cash? Do you feel like being in debt is simply a part of life? Are you okay with having "good" debt like a mortgage or for your education? This will identify your values around your idea of debt and savings.
3) Now share with one another your values and beliefs around money.
If you are able, try to identify where these values and beliefs come from! Sometimes, we hold on to beliefs and values simply because "that's what my parents taught me growing up" or "that was my favorite grandparent's belief and I don't want to forget them." (yes it gets that deep sometimes).
4) Compromise!
You see the thing about marriage and relationships is that we come together in the interest of growth. We know that we are better when we are together and as a unit we can do more, be more, and have more in our lives! Therefore, learning how to compromise is an important relationship tool. Find a way to honor both of your beliefs and values.
5) Ask for help.
Last but not least, if you are finding it challenging to make any progress around communicating about money, do not be afraid to ask for help. So many couples wait until it is too late (they've already filed for divorce) before seeking help from a professional. You can either find someone to help both of you or seek your own personal support to improve your own communication skills.
Now you have the steps you can take to better communicate any money matter with your partner! Here's to open communication, compromise, and compassion!
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