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If you're anything like me, your greatest source of frustration is your inability to make a decision!

This week I want to lean into the most common cause of suffering that I've experienced first hand and is extremely common for the women I work with as well.

This sneaky self-preserving paradigm (or pattern) that causes our deepest suffering is CONFUSION (aka lack of clarity).

And if you aren't clear (wink wink) on what I mean by this, let me ask you a few questions:

Are you suffering from the paralysis of indecision?

Do you decide one second and then a moment later take it back and change your mind?

Are you absolutely discombobulated and can't even distinguish right or wrong anymore?

So now that we cleared that up, let's get into the conversation about what confusion is all about.

I was on my own coaching call with my personal mentor, Mary Morrissey, last week and she shared some insight around, what I like to call, the art of confusion.

Mary explained that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. In order to move forward, you must resonate with this truth. So let me say it again, we are all spiritual beings having a human experience.

With that said, at the level of spirit, our soul is never confused. I'll repeat that once more as well. OUR SOUL IS NEVER CONFUSED.

So why then do we experience confusion in this human experience you ask?

Well, here's the thing... (I need you to follow me closely here)

If you know what you want, which you do at your core,

Then you would know what you need to to.

But since you DO NOT want to DO what you need to do, knowing what you know,

Your mind plays a simply yet profound trick on you, in order to stall and preserve the status quo.

"What does that mean?" you might be asking.

Well, I could go on for days on this topic, but to keep this GEMM short and to the point, the simple yet profound trick that our mind plays on us IS the Art of Confusion!

Our mind simply says, "I don't know." And it is in our human nature to pause and ponder until we know. And with that my friends, you are now fully aware that your in ability to decide or lack of clarity that you have is simply a delay tactic deployed because ultimately...


And to be even more honest with you...

  • It might mean you have to enforce a boundary that you set with your partner (i.e. take a break, walk away, or even leave the relationship) when deep down inside you don't want to hurt them.

  • It might mean you have to do something scary that you've never done before (i.e. post a video for the first time, decide to quit your job, or even explore a vulnerable side of yourself) and fear the rejection or loss of security.

  • It might mean you have to take ownership for a repeating pattern in your life (i.e. recurring relationship challenges, lack of action, or even going back to old people, places, and things) and are scared to enter into that dark place in fear of never getting out of it.

So let me leave you with this...

  1. Breathe - take a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth.

  2. Remember - you are a spiritual being having a human experience.

  3. Know - the content of your life IS the curriculum of your evolution. (Mary Morrissey)

  4. Listen - your voice of intuition is never frantic or rushed. You are your highest authority - you are the only one who has the answer you seek. Look and listen within yourself for your answer and TRUST your inner voice of truth.

  5. Decide - just choose. No matter what you choose, it will move the stagnant energy and allow the next step to be revealed. The catch to all of this is inaction and indecision leads to greater and greater confusion. Decide and TAKE ACTION today!

I believe in you! So believe in my belief. If you have the willingness to be transformed through this time of challenge, it will happen. And remember, as another mentor of mine, Kirsten Welles, always says, this is what it looks like when it's all working out!

#artofconfusion #confusion #clarity #breathe #remember #know #decide #takeaction #trust #spiritualbeinghavingahumanexperience #spiritual #love #paradigms #patterns #marymorrissey #selfawareness #selfimprovement #personaldevelopment #psychology #growth #selfesteem #selfworth #selfimage #thegoodnews #empowered #empoweredwomen #empowerment #thegemms #thegemmswithsamanthakaaua #counseling #coaching #transcendence @thegemmsofficial @the.gemms @samantha_kaaua

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Updated: Aug 3, 2020

Do you currently feel like you're in a fog and can't seem to find your place in the world around you?

Do you often find yourself forgetting why you came into a room and what you were looking for?

Are you frustrated with yourself for having the same arguments with your spouse and feel like you're just going in circles in life?

Well if you answered YES to any or all of these questions, then you are living in a house of hidden windows!

Back in 1955, two American psychologists, Joseph Luft (1916-2014) and Harrington Ingham (1914-1995), created what we all know as the Johari Window. It is a tool used in psychology and in personal development to help you better understand how you interact with the world around you.

In the Johari Window model, there are 4 quadrants or panes of your window.


The first quadrant (top left) is your OPEN pane and this represents what you know about yourself that you are willing to share with the world around you.

The second quadrant (bottom left) is called the HIDDEN pane and represents things you know about yourself that you are not willing to share with others and you essentially hide from the world.

The third quadrant (top right) represents your BLIND spots which represents things that you are unaware of about yourself but others around you can see clearly.

The fourth and final quadrant (bottom right) is the UNKNOWN pane and this represents information about you that neither you nor others are aware of!

The ultimate goal of this awareness exercise is to see how large each pane is in your overall window. They are all relevant to one another. So if you're OPEN pane is very small, it is likely that your HIDDEN, BLIND and UNKNOWN panes are much larger than you're even aware of!

When I'm working with my clients, I like to describe this challenge as your House of Hidden Windows!

You see, most pain and suffering is self-inflicted. And this is the good news! We can chose a different way. We can chose to uncover all the windows in our home and let the light in!

I find that many of my clients, when they first come to me, are living a life filled with shame and guilt. Their HIDDEN and BLIND panes are so large it was unbearable to even look at on their own.

Over the course of time we build up their self-esteem and self-worth and begin the process of growing their OPEN window. The GREAT NEWS is, you can begin this process on your own at home!

sit down and have a conversation

All you need to do is find one or two people you trust. Sit down and have a conversation with them about what you just learned here. It's likely you both have heard of this activity before.

Now, share with them something they didn't know about you - it can be silly or something from the past that you just never brought up in your relationship before. Don't share your deepest darkest secret. Keep it simply and have fun with this!

Once you begin this process, keep going. Make it a point to share something new with this friend or loved one each time you see or speak to one another! This will help you to increase the size of your OPEN window while simultaneously decreasing the size of your HIDDEN window.

The second part of this exercise is to ask this person, whom you trust, for some kind and constructive feedback! A fun way that you can lean into this is to ask your friend if they notice funny quirks or habits that you have whenever they hand out with you. It could be as simple as noticing how your laugh can start a chain reaction and raise the energy of a room or it could be the way you start your sentences when you're excited about something.

And remember, only ask for feedback if you are ready to receive it with love! This will allow you to become more consciously aware of who you are and how you appear to the people around you.

Once you are able to minimize your HIDDEN and BLIND panes, your UNKNOWN pane will start to shrink as well.

Living a fully authentic life requires you to develop an empowered self-image. Begin living in a House of OPEN Windows today!

#johariwindow #openwindow #hiddenwindow #blindspot #blindwindow #unknownwindow #selfawareness #selfimprovement #personaldevelopment #psychology #houseofhiddenwindows #houseofopenwindows #growth #selfesteem #selfworth #selfimage #thegoodnews #empowered #empoweredwomen #empowerment #thegemms #thegemmswithsamanthakaaua #counseling #coaching #transcendence @thegemmsofficial @the.gemms @samantha_kaaua

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Updated: May 29, 2020

I'm sure you already know by now but for those of you who may not, I'm Samantha Kaaua, the founder of The GEMMS!

I am so thrilled you're here because today marks the beginning of our journey together!

I understand that many of us are bombarded by emails in our inbox that exponentially grow by the second! If you're anything like me, you have 10,000+ unread emails in your inbox at any given time.

Therefore, I wanted to create a space where you can come and join me whenever you want, browse through my past entries and get to know me a little better.

As promised though, I will still send these weekly newsletters to anyone who has subscribed to my email list! So if that's you, thank you!

Here's What You Can Expect On Our Journey Together:

  • I'm a reader and a life-long learner, so I anticipate that the women who find me also love to read and learn as well! Therefore, these newsletters will likely read more like journal entries and personal conversations. So if this is you, welcome, you're in the right place!

  • I created The GEMMS as a space for women to come and learn, not only from me, but from one another. I hope to grow this community of empowered women and create a safe space for all of us to share our GEMMS along our life journey together! So be prepared to interact, share, and encourage one another!

  • I'm a sucker for Tips, Tricks, and Tools to navigate and accelerate this human experience! Each time I find one that worked for me, you will be the first to know! I'm also a collector, so I do have many tips, tricks, and tools already stored in my memory bank but something about sharing them in real-time, makes it so much more fun and relatable!

Alright, I think that's enough for now!

I swear if you get me on my soap box, I can go on for days! So let me jump down for now and spread the love out for another time.

Until next time, remember that you are a GEMM and a gift to the world! Shine bright and be seen for GEMMS are not meant to be hidden, but rather to be loved, adored, and cherished!

Sending love and light to you and your family!

Samantha K.

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